This sub's Psyche

There are many people telling me this path is degrading to women, that it sells women short of their full potential. I’ve heard that it will hold me back as a person. However, I'm finding so far it is pushing me to know my limits and to push through those limits. To trust someone completely with even the most sensitive of matters. Is it a relationship? Is it just sex? Anyone in the community will tell you that it is much more.

It’s interesting -- to some people, all they see is the kink. They don’t understand the underlying psychology behind it. Or that there is a certain spirituality to it as well. All they see is the practice of bondage, the acts of dominance over one's lover, mate, man or woman. While yes, these are things that are apart of the appeal, and usually the first things that draw people into the world of D/s or M/s the people who end up in the community, who seek out a sub, a Dom, Master or slave, these people are intelligent, successful, and confident in every aspect of their life. Most successful men and women are born leaders, born dominant. There is no denying their swagger, the pull they have over people around them. And then there are those that are strong because they have to be, they have to live in a harsh reality; you need to fend for yourself. These ones while they do well -- usually -- are the ones that appreciate it more when they give themselves into servitude. When given the option, they will enter a D/s relationship whether they know it or not. Some women get married; some men join the army, in whatever the case they will find an outlet that allows them to ‘let their hair down’ to let their mind be released from the worries of the day.

In my case, I have searched for strong men all my life. Though, the men that I tended to find were not dominant in the way the D/s M/s community respects or even acknowledges. I found myself walking down a dangerous path looking for someone who could handle me, this fierce woman who ate most men for breakfast. Though, I was looking for the wrong type of handling. I thought someone who was harsh, that was verbally abusive was what I needed. Down that road I traveled, but I found that love was rarely in the equation. That as much as the sex was exciting, wonderful, and on occasion awesome, I could not see myself in a committed relationship. I could not be faithful, obedient to them because I did not respect them. And while yes, I understand that those reading this might think that it’s a bit hokey, but my thought process is needed for you to understand why I’ve chosen this submissive path.

I stumbled into the kink first. Looking into ways of controlling myself. If someone could control my body, it’s possible that they could control me.

The Internet is a menagerie of depravity and at first many things did not sit well with me. I couldn’t understand why women would allow themselves to be tied and forced to cum over and over again. Or even forced to sit on the edge of orgasm, while thanking their tormentors. Surely this is only meant to be viewed by men. And then it hit me -- an epiphany -- these ‘tormentors’ are in complete control. They are not yelling, they are not abusive; they are staying within the agreed limits. Yet they have complete control over their women and men.

I blinked, was I reading too much into this? Was my psyche over analyzing the simple act of Domination? I wanted to know more. I wanted to understand why they would allow this to be done to them. I had to go down deeper into the rabbit hole.

Regards,
niccy