Drink Me: Actualization of a Submissive

It wasn’t until my first real D/s experience did I realize what this world could unleash for me. Yes, I understand that it sounds completely self-centered, however, we all only journey down a path if we think it will somehow be beneficial to us. Though at first I didn’t know it was a D/s experience. You see I had been chatting for some time online with a married man. As a budding writer I found chatting with men helped me to practice my writing as well as have a bit of fun. On a good day I could make whomever I was chatting with cum, just by my text. Words ring in my ear; words someone had told me in college, ‘you would make a very good dominatrix.’ I remember him telling me that, I paused and considered it. How much fun I could have if I were a dominatrix. So naturally when I first started down this journey my online presence drew, well it drew many men who were submissive.

The man that had become my constant contact on Yahoo – my play buddy – had a trip coming up. He was going to be in LA which meant that after many heated chats we decided to meet. It was then – when he tied my hands down and fucked my tits – did I realize that this loss of control made my body crave him even more. All of the sudden I wanted him to cum on my face. I wanted him to use me. And really I had no idea why other than those thoughts were making my pussy drench with anticipation. That day/night, I orgasmed more than I had ever before; only there was nothing that touched my vagina’s lips. He worked me with the expertise of a neurosurgeon. That was the point when I truly knew that I needed to submit to a Master.

Of course growing up I realize I was drawn to strong men, as previously mentioned in an earlier post. But I didn’t realize the men that I honestly care for in my life. The ones that I have kept in contact for so many years now, are all Doms of some sort. Looking back now, I understand that I have slowly but surely taken steps that have brought me to this point. However, that experience of submitting to someone, being helpless and used, it made me more liberated than I had ever felt while dominating the other areas in my life. For this, I can see myself being forced to loose control, to thank someone for making me cum.

Finally I understood that I was ready to enter into this world filled with giants; where I felt so small. I drank the bottle and shrunk down to enter into that narrow door. Only now I found myself in a seemingly beautiful world, which had a strong underlying possibility of personal failure. A world of varying flowers and plants that were both toxic and truly beautiful. Yet amongst these choices, there were those whom I gravitated. They helped me decipher what and whom I could trust. Still, to this day I am grateful to those who helped me out of toxic D/s relationships and help to heal wounds that I thought would never heal.

Regards,
niccy