Monday, November 30, 2009

Respect: For Dom/sub relations it's a 2 way street

I think I need to preference this with the fact that even though I am a sub, I am picky – very picky. Now it’s not just Doms, I am picky with whom I allow in my life and whom I think is worthy of my company. This may seem I don’t know self-righteous for a submissive, however before I found out that this lifestyle was my calling, I was a little careless with my choices. And thus become pickier.

Contention point one; I do not read messages that start with, 'ur so h0t!' While yes the person behind this particular faux pas may be an intelligent human, brilliant even – but that does not excuse simple grammar etiquette. I don’t know of any woman who swoons at reprehensible word choices whether spoken or written.

Contention point two; if you as a Dom expect me to respect you, why would I -- a submissive, who has no idea who you are or what you are like -- expect to be treated with anything less than a mutual respect? You have to prove that you are my superior. It is not something that is just given to you. With that, it must also be noted – if you ask me, ‘have you read my profile,’ you better reply that you enjoyed reading mine.

Now, with that water under the bridge, I find myself amused by a conversation started on Fetlife with me. I won’t mention the name, because let’s face it, we all would Google it. But it started out ever so friendly, he wanted to network. Hey, I’m all about networking; I have a strong social network of Doms/subs, of work colleagues and friends. Not all of them know of my submissive side, nor would they ever expect it so likewise I am on guard with those who wish to enter my network. His reply -- as you may have guessed -- was to the tune of, 'have you read my profile.'

I had.

Oh his profile was a very long drawn out 1,600 word explanation of his perfect submissive/slave. I hit some of the marks, but only a handful. Which is why when he asked if I wanted to network, stupid me – I thought it was for something more than what he had written. After all the end of his 'essay' stated;
"If you reply to this ad and fail to get a response, it’s most likely because you didn’t send a well thought out response, as well as a picture (i.e. or, the promise of a picture later, and, in the meantime, a vivid description of yourself). Your first reply is vital to whether you will get a response as I only consider positive energy."

And so I replied in as well thought out response as I could:
I did however; it looks like you are looking for a sub. And while yes, I am a sub -- I have a Sir as noted on my profile.

I am not a manic, pixie dream girl you describe. I have curves, beautiful lovely curves, which includes my pert wonderful 38DD's. And interestingly enough, this morning at 3AM I woke to my Sir, asking me to cum for him over the phone. He was out of town for Thanksgiving which I -- of course -- gladly did.

Then too there are your descriptions of her oral fixations. Holding her there only several minutes after cumming? I gladly offer my mouth for Sir's pleasure whether that is for a quick fuck or a night’s sleep with him planted firmly in it.
As for my Sir, I do have that animalistic desire for him. Even though my in the community I have a high profile if he asked it, I would get on my knees and suck him until he was pleased. No matter what the situation -- I am here to please him.
Sir enjoys my career, enjoys my independence and the subsequent relinquishment of my power to him. I'm very glad that he pushes me in the directions that he thinks is best for me.

My actions in public can only be described as sophisticated. I am 5'8" and Sir is 6'3" so per his wishes I tend to always be in 4" high heels. I am poised, confident and always conscious of my Sir's needs when with him. The community thinks of me as the local Lifestyle Guru, so yes I am well spoken and respected.

With that said, I ask if you've read my profile. If you understand that I am a writer by profession. I am an established writer -- as in that is my career. I am in a D/s relationship, and I'm devoted to my Sir. So, I ask once more -- what are you looking to network for?

Now I do understand that you are really only getting half of the conversation, and if you are a member of fetlife I’ll gladly give you a link to the awesome that is his profile. And as a sidenote, he still has not responded. So I’m sorry to say that my response was clearly not as creative as he deemed worthy.