Healing

I’ve been dark for a while. After the previous blog post—which I emailed to Sir—things have been wonderful. I wish I could relate to you how elated I am. But apparently I express myself with clarity only when extremely angry.

I sent the post via email to Sir. It was the only way that I could express how much he had hurt me. Surprisingly he responded quickly. He was hurt, well saddened. He hadn’t meant to hurt me as badly as he did. The only reason he wanted to let me go was simply because he didn’t want to be selfish. After all he didn’t know how long he would be in London. I understood this but didn’t/don’t want to be under anyone but him. And as for being selfish, hell, I’m the most unselfish person I know. I tell him to be selfish for both of us.

Clouds part, smiles ensue. Things like this don’t happen every day. When you find someone who you click with, you tend to hold on and hope the ride is longer than eight seconds.

Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been all smiles and sunshine. There was a long week of slow communication in which after each email I was in tears. My writing group gave me hugs and cheered for my writing what they wanted to say. But in the end, it was through those words I wanted to hurt him with that our healing process began. I can’t stress how important communication is in a D/s relationship.

So for now, I am beside myself with giddy, girly, happiness. And honestly, he is the first Dom that I actually see myself saying yes if he decided he wanted to collar me.